This is a post I have waiting to write for a while now, but I wanted to make sure that I got it right.
So here goes…
Honestly over the past few months I have been struggling, not with sickness, tiredness or anything health related but with my body. I had got to the stage in my pregnancy which I dread (16-20weeks), I feel overweight, uncomfortable and my nipples are hurting with the slightest wind change!
I have felt like this with every pregnancy and I know that once this little bump starts kicking the crap out of me, this feeling will go but until then it’s difficult (at least most days) to deal with and the fact that I am not ‘allowed’ to feel like this does little to help.
If I was on my period people (especially the ladies) would understand, but because I’m pregnant it’s as if I should feel guilty for feeling nothing but wonderful about my body changes.
Within a month I went up two dress sizes, this is not a small amount for anyone and it isn’t just the ‘size’ you suddenly become. I look in the mirror and no longer recognise the person staring back at me, as she seems to have disappeared. It’s an odd in between stage where your not quite ‘bumpy’ enough to look pregnant just extremely bloated. The extra strain on your legs makes a flight of stairs suddenly become mount killamanjaro! Your bust aches, you constantly need to pee and to top it all off the only thing you ever hear when voicing any of this is ‘ but your carrying a baby’ followed by ‘that’ look.
Really? No Shit Sherlock!
I have always been petite, so for some reason I shouldn’t feel dread at buying larger clothes. Does it really matter that I go from a 6 to a 10? Surely it would be the same if I went from a 16 to a 20? It’s the speed in which it happens, that for me is the difficult bit to cope with.
It’s not that I am not thankful for the fact that I am (it seems) very fertile, quite the opposite. I have a few friends who have trouble conceiving and every time I am Pregnant I dread telling them because I feel so awful that it’s not the other way around. I love being a mum and I will always be grateful for being blessed with the opportunity to experience it.
So to all the mums who are currently feeling a little bit crap, it is worth it in the end. I do understand that that pregnant glow that you see all over instagram of beautiful bikini clad or stylish pregnant ladies isn’t the reality for some of us. We are allowed to feel unhappy with our changing body at times, it does pass.
As of right now I am 22weeks, over the hump and feeling great. I am finding my pregnancy style (this time more than ever). The bump is kicking and I am trying to enjoy these next few months with my other four kids as much as I can before they have to share me that tiny bit more.
Lots of Love
Charlotte ❤️
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